Life has its share of ups and downs, but we would be remiss if we do not let the challenges bring about change within us. In my 34 years of existence, I learned that God uses everything in our lives to make us better people. So I want to share the five things or experiences that changed me for the better.
1. Experiencing Jesus Personally
I grew up in a religious community and just trudged along with everyone else without exploring what I truly believed. Because of this, I grew up as if I didn’t believe in Jesus at all. From the outside, it seemed like my faith was healthy. I played piano when asked, attended church consistently, and was an active presence in the youth group. But I only did so because I didn’t want any conflict with my parents. Deep inside, I didn’t care about my religion at all.
That was until Jesus made Himself real to me.
I won’t share the exact details of that story here but since I realized Jesus’ tangible glory in my life, I was changed for the better. I live my life not as I want but how He wants me to live. I obey His teachings in the Bible not begrudgingly but with delight. My mindset, which was fixed on temporary things before, has now been affixed to the eternal. And because I have experienced Jesus’ love and calling for me, living life has gotten infinitely sweeter.
2. Marriage/Fatherhood
You should get married and have children if you think you got yourself figured out. These experiences have revealed to me just how lacking I am in many aspects of my character. Being in a marriage has made and is still making it clear that I need to work on my communication skills, how selfish I tend to be, and how much my procrastination negatively impacts my life. Fatherhood has revealed to me that time goes by quickly, to enjoy the present, and caused me to reflect on how I was raised and how that has impacted my life as an adult.
But at the end of the day, these two things have made me realize how God has blessed me with a wife who loves and cares for me and a son who is excited to crawl toward me when I get home from work every day. Marriage and fatherhood have plenty of challenges but are definitely worth the hard work we put into them.
3. Therapy
Everyone needs therapy. There are no exceptions. If you’re reading this and haven’t had the chance to go to therapy, I suggest you do so. It doesn’t have to be forever, but you need to give yourself the tools to deal with whatever unaddressed trauma you have. And trust me, you have them.
This experience revealed things in my past that I didn’t realize affected the way I lived in the present. My therapists asked educated questions that got me talking and exploring my past and how much certain experiences that I may have brushed aside have deeply wounded me and prevented me from living to my full potential. It was mind-blowing I tell you!
It was only when I learned how to prod my feelings and how past experiences truly impacted me that I began the process of healing and maximizing my potential. I still falter here and there but the trajectory is upwards.
So try it, you’ll be surprised what God has in store for you in this space.
4. The Enneagram
My friends introduced me to the Enneagram back in 2018 and I can tell you that my life hasn’t been the same since. The Enneagram is a behavioural typing model that teaches that there are nine types of interconnected personalities whose behaviour is affected by their basic fears and desires, developed by childhood trauma. If you are interested in figuring out what you are, click here for the test!
Figuring out the type of personality I am in the Enneagram model informed me of what aspects of my life I need to give to the Holy Spirit to fix. Without this model, it would have taken me a long time to figure out why I avoid conflict at all costs and why doing so is unhealthy for my life. It has taught me that the best part of me is also the worst part and it allowed me to be aware of when I’m moving in the wrong direction. Lastly, it has helped my marriage because it helped me, a type 9, realize how I could better communicate and live with my wife, a type 6.
Now I am aware of the times when I suppress my feelings or opinions for the sake of avoiding conflict and that awareness helps me find the courage to speak my mind and not be afraid of conflict. It has changed me for the better.
5. Stumbling Onto Personal Finance Videos/Podcast
I’ve only started to take my finances seriously lately, thanks to a series of videos and podcasts that have made me question my spending habits and lack of financial knowledge. These videos and podcasts are starting to educate me on the power of saving as much as I can and putting it toward the future. I have made terrible money decisions early on in my life and by the grace of God have been able to alleviate those mistakes today, but these platforms made me realize that I could be doing so much more to put my future self and family in a better place financially.
These videos and podcasts have given me practical steps toward financial freedom (although I probably won’t be able to retire early) in the future. They have also given me information on how to set up my children to succeed financially. They have also reminded me that my goal in all of this is to be a better steward of God’s money and if He does bless my family with wealth later on, that my ultimate goal is to be a blessing to others. So here’s to a more frugal and minimal Marc in 2023.
Here’s a list of what I’ve been watching/listening to/reading:
The Personal Finance Podcast
Gabe Bult’s Youtube Channel
Rich Dad, Poor Dad
What about you? What things has God used in your life to make you a better person? Think about these things and share them with others!
